are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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