And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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