Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
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I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
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His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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