So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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