i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
