it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
