They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
