I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
