i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
