I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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