I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
