Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
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My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
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There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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