My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
