You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
