the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize