Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
