Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
