tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
