Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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