I seem to have left my pride at pride
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
