somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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