someone get that fucking seahorse.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
