How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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