i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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