We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED