You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Do vagina's smell?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
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My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
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His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face