so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here