when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
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Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
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Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere