i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube