Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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