is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
True college students do jello shots in the library
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