I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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