just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
