your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
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