He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
