I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
