Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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