i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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