what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
