oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
North Korea, Best Korea!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize