Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
