even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
