I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
