she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
