Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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