I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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