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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston, we have a problem

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  where are u?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.

  Fav 44 15905 1917

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out

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• (626): View more from California

  Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.

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• (227): View more from Maryland

  I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place

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• (914): View more from New York

  THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Hydrate.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?

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• (585): View more from New York

  holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo

  Fav 4 395 167

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.

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