In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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