Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
