Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
