Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
