hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
