batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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