So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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