i just google imaged poop.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
that may or may not have been my penis.
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