Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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