i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
