Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
No subtext here. People are naked.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
