I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize