trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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