the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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