So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
