I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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