you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
