I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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