well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
