i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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