Fuck appropriateness.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
