Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
