I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
