I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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