The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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